International Women’s Day.
“Define success on your terms, achieve it by your own rules, and build a life you’re proud to live”
-Anne Sweeney, American business woman, Former co-chair of Disney Media, President of Disney-ABC Television Group and President of the Disney Channel
Emily was a very capable lawyer in a big Auckland law firm, that I had worked with on occasions. A colleague, who had started at the firm at a similar time to Emily but who was a year or two her senior, had just been made partner. Emily was wondering whether she should be making a partnership her goal and setting her mind to achieving it. All the indications she had received from the firm suggested that it was an achievable goal, although obviously not without some intention and hard work on Emily’s part. Except Emily was wondering if she even wanted that to be her goal.
Emily asked to have coffee with me, which I was very happy to do.
I have previously said that my own career progression looks more like a seismograph during an earthquake than the upwards trajectory of a plane taking off. That’s probably a slight exaggeration. With a couple of exceptions my roles have largely been law related. But I certainly have not made a linear progression from law clerk to KC. I have had a couple of stints overseas, not for the traditional purposes of post-graduate study or working in a [fill in the big US or UK city] law firm. I have also had a relatively lengthy period of time as a full-time mum.
Maybe it is my own less traditional career path that causes me to firmly believe that we all have to find our own path in life and in the legal profession. The seismograph is partly the result of me trying to find my own path and partly the result of me pursuing a path outside the legal profession at times.
On International Women’s Day especially, I emphasise that a person’s gender or race or sexuality ought to have no part in setting a person’s path or opportunities. New Zealand still has a way to go to women and men of all races being paid the same, being equally involved in the policies and decision-making of New Zealand, being afforded the same respect and feeling equally safe socially and in all workplaces. There is now some acknowledgement that the legal profession has been terrible at affording all persons with the same respect and opportunities. I would like to say there has been universal acknowledgement of this, but I doubt that will ever be achieved.
Although it is improving, I think the legal profession has also not been good at recognizing individuality. There is a convention, in the world at large not just the legal profession, that success means working hard, aiming for a particular position, or at least a position higher on the ladder and attaining more material wealth. There is also a pressure, that can have its origin in external and internal forces, to achieve this type of success.
For some, that is their goal. That is what drives and motivates them and what gives them satisfaction and meaning. But it is not the case for all. If someone genuinely chooses not to continue to climb the law firm ladder, not to join the project team that is about to get the high profile transaction or litigation brief, or not to sit on the more important board, that is not failure or disappointing or any less of a valid option than taking those steps.
I have become better at setting my own path in life and work and I encouraged Emily to do the same, whether that was setting partnership as the goal or some other course.
There are many articles on becoming the best version of you that you can be, not just in relation to our working lives. Here are my thoughts on what has been helpful to me in charting my course in the legal profession:
Know yourself. To ensure the work you are doing is consistent with your values and the things that are important to you in life, you need to know what they are. They are also likely to change. What was most important 3 years ago might not be what is most important now. I have become more intentional at thinking about this. Recently when I was feeling dissatisfied but not sure how to fix it, I had some very helpful sessions with a career coach. With now grown children and after quite a few years of practice, I had the time and money for this luxury. However, there are also numerous online free tools that can help identify values and set goals.
Explore alternatives. My first position was a law clerk for one of the big Auckland city firms, thank you Chapman Tripp! I really enjoyed my three years at the firm and still have very good friends from the firm but I quite quickly worked out that working in a big firm was not for me. I then took a role outside law for a while. That was quite a big step but doesn’t seem to have held me back in the long-term. Today there is even more recognition that doing something completely different for a period of time can add to our skills and experience.
So far as possible, tolerate but avoid people who seem focused on you becoming another version of them or a version of anything that you do not want to be. Or at least recognize what is happening. Everyone likes to confirm their own choices. I am writing about following your own path because mine has not been completely conventional! The best friends and colleagues encourage you to do and be what you want to do and be, not what they want.
Listen to your own inner voice and have the courage to follow your own path rather than another’s. The result is rewarding. Apart from the people described at the beginning of the last paragraph, people actually admire and are willing to support those who do something different, on a small or large scale. And in the end, whatever other people might say or think, living and working consistently with our values and priorities brings the most peace and contentment.
I have to acknowledge that my own family did not have any predefined path for me. I am the only lawyer in my extended family and the only person in my immediate family to go to University. I was fortunate not have any family pressure (express or implied) to take any particular path.
By (mostly) applying the above intentions, at times I have really enjoyed working towards and attaining positions that everyone in the profession considers to be a sign of success. At other times, I have really enjoyed pursuing other positions or other things in my life that matter most to me.
One great thing about the legal profession is that there are a lot of very different roles that can be taken within it. Solicitors, barristers, private practice, in-house, big firms, small firms, virtual firms, city firms or rural firms, to name a few. And, I have found there are a large number of caring and supportive people who have helped me find my way and follow it.
As a new step on my path, I have started this blog. My intention is to write something once a month for a year. Consistent with International Women’s Day the subject matter is intended to be relevant to women lawyers but also not only to women and not only to lawyers. Please sign up if you would like to know when the next blog is posted.
Finally, back to Emily. Emily decided not to go for partnership. Emily had two young children. (In case I am misinterpreted, I note that having young children is not mutually exclusive to achieving a partnership and that having young children is not the only reason why a partnership may not be someone’s goal.) Emily and her husband moved out of Auckland.
Emily obtained part-time work in a firm in another city and successfully combined working and raising her children. I can hear some saying Emily is an example of women, especially women with children, finding it too hard to achieve their potential. In some instances, this happens sadly. But I don’t think that was the case with Emily. Knowing Emily as I do, I think Emily listened to her own voice and followed her own path. And Emily’s story is far from over.
As is mine and anyone reading this…