Take time to celebrate
On Saturday 26 August, I ran the Hawke’s Bay half marathon! I am not seeking praise from anyone else; I am reminding myself to celebrate the achievement.
I clearly remember during the Covid lockdowns not being able to run for more than one or two kilometres without having achilles tendon pain. During this time, I told myself and anyone with the misfortune to be locked down with me that I would love to be able to run 5 km a couple of days during the week and 10km on the weekend.
I have been a relatively regular runner since my late teens. My longest distance is the half-marathon and that’s enough for me. I know lots of people hate running. But I love it. It is my key wellbeing practice. I run primarily for the benefit of my mental health and am very grateful it also helps my physical health.
So, when I couldn’t do it at all, or hardly at all, it was difficult. I definitely didn’t enjoy any other exercise as much and at times didn’t really enjoy anything quite as much. It wasn’t only the fact that I was unable to run at the time. I was also concerned about if, or when, I might be able to run in the future.
I consulted physios, a podiatrist and finally a sports doctor that put me on the road to recovery. And a couple of weeks ago, I ran a half marathon! OK, I know I have already mentioned that. But I have really surprised myself.
Looking back, I realise that almost as soon as I could run about 5km regularly and a bit longer on the weekend, I started thinking that contentment might not be doing 5km during the week and 10km on the weekend. Maybe I could do more, I thought.
I am an achiever. In the various personality type tests that I have done, the fact that I love achieving things usually appears in some form. I like the project nature of the work I do. Once an opinion is done and sent out, the task is usually done. Once a dispute is resolved, it ought not flare up again. I get satisfaction from ticking a task off my to-do list and moving to the next one.
I know that I can frequently complete a task, even something quite complex or that has taken awhile, and almost instinctively cross it off the list and move on to the next task. The instinct is to focus a lot more on what is to be done rather than on what I have done. This instinct is often not helpful. I would benefit from more balanced thinking.
Along similar lines, I think civil lawyers fall into one of three categories in relation to receiving judgments for cases in which they have acted, and likely acted with the same skill and experience. The most resilient ones accept them all with only slightly more than a grain of salt and move on. Another group of lawyers claim the successes as their personal triumphs and the unsuccessful judgments as a poor reflection on the particular judge. The third group of lawyers attempts to take them all with a grain of salt but is more negatively affected by the unsuccessful cases than positively affected by the successful cases. I have a tendency to dwell on an unsuccessful case, while reflecting for all of two minutes on a win and moving to the next item on my to-do list.
By nature and by training, lawyers naturally focus on what went wrong or what can go wrong. Apparently, people who are attracted into the legal profession think more negatively than the general population. And most humans have a negativity bias towards scanning for threats or dangers to begin with. Then, lawyers are trained to focus on the potential flaws, inconsistencies or weaknesses in our clients’ action or argument. Negative thinking is, largely, what we are paid to do. That can cause lawyers to become (more) cynical, critical, pessimistic and negative.
In prehistoric times, the negativity bias was useful for survival. Today, you won’t be surprised to know it is not great for resilience and well-being. Focusing on the negatives at work can cause that pattern of thinking to pervade other areas of life too. The good news is that there are practices and skills that can counter the negativity we deal with on a daily basis. And one of those it to work at more balanced thinking. It is not a case of only focusing on the positives. It is a case of embracing the positives and negatives in equal measure.
Groov is a mental wellbeing platform co-founded by Sir John Kirwan. I learnt about it at the Performance & Care Webinar put on by the NZLS, Auckland Branch earlier this year. Groov encourages everyone to celebrate on a daily basis, for example, celebrate small wins or think of one thing you are proud of or are doing well.
Along similar lines is the new trend on social media of “glimmers”. Glimmers are small moments in our day-to day lives that spark a sense of joy or awe or connection. It can be noticing the warmth of the sun (especially this year!), seeing something beautiful or doing something fun with friends. A glimmer is a good thing in life, no matter how big or small. Glimmers give us an opportunity to focus on the positive. Actively noticing glimmers is a great way to reshape our minds and improve our mental health.
Of course, as with anything there is a balance. I am a keen tennis fan and I really enjoy watching the major tennis tournaments on TV. As I put the finishing touches to this blog, the US Open is being played. I find the increasing practice of fist pumping every time a player wins a point extremely tedious. It might have a place for extremely good points or set points but has become way too frequent for my liking. A good thing can be taken too far!
So, I am very happy that I can now run a lot further than 5km during the week and 10km on the weekend. And yes, I am already thinking about what the next half marathon might be. But first, I will try to appreciate the one I have done. I also want to give a shout-out to the team who were part of the effort that helped me achieve that goal, emphasising that none of the service providers know anything about this blog or their mention in it:
To the sports doctor that correctly diagnosed my achilles problem about 18 months ago and gave me the exercises to heal it - Dr Craig Panther, Axis Sports Medicine Specialists.
To the skilled soft tissue therapist Dan Griffiths (Body by Dan) whose weekly massage, dry needling and cupping helped me get through the training programme and to the start line.
To my great nutritionist, Amy Judd, who told me eating more would stop me being so tired (it worked!) and gave me the nutrition programme to support the running.
To my daughter Sam who was my amazing teammate, running the event too (but directing that we were not to run together or talk to each other during the run) and who thankfully introduced me to the huge benefits of products high in carbohydrates and caffeine before a long run.
And to my son Josh and his girlfriend Lucy Hodgkinson who were a great support team driving to as many next places as possible to stop and cheer as Sam and I ran past, not at the same time due to the direction described above.
So, the next time you achieve a work or personal goal, tick something off your to-do list, someone says you have done something well or maybe no-one says anything but you know you have done well, or something else positive happens in your day, I encourage you to take a moment, or more than a moment, to focus on the positive and celebrate it!