Things I might do differently
After completing the Hawkes Bay half marathon, I decided to see a running coach. Yes, it might have been better to do those things in reverse order but it is still useful for the next one(s). Somewhat ironically it seemed to me, I was told I was training too hard. I had done my research to ensure I was properly fuelled during the training programme and I hadn’t felt I was overdoing it at all. So how could I be training too hard?
To explain, a quick lesson on training using heart rate zones. Training heart rate zones are divided into five zones. Training in zone 1 is training at approximately 50 to 60% of your maximum heart rate; good for warming up or cooling down. Training in zone 5 is training at 90-100% of your maximum heart rate. In zone 5, you are primarily using the body’s anaerobic system; good for sprinting or power lifting. Everything else fits in between. To maximise the benefit to their aerobic systems, long distance runners want to do most of their training in zones 2-3.
Having never looked at this before, the coach and I identified from my garmin watch records that I was doing most of my training in zone 4, with a bit of zone 5 thrown in! So, it was suggested I slow down more in training. Perhaps obviously, going slower reduces your heart rate.
And that is an apt metaphor for this topic of what I might do differently.
One of the most difficult things about regular blogs is coming up with topics that might be relevant to readers and interesting for me to write about. I am grateful to a friend who suggested I write on what I have done over my career that I might do differently if I had the same time again. So, despite the title, I will not reflect on the dates I should never have gone on or the times I yelled at my children disproportionally to the provocation. The focus is on what I might do differently in my legal career if I was doing it again.
I probably wouldn’t change much about “what” I have done. Not that I have done everything perfectly. Far from it. Rather, I am very happy with my spot in life now and my past experiences have led me here. I have learned and benefited from the mistakes as well as the successes. Changing anything too drastically might chart a course that leads to a different outcome and I’m happy with this one right now.
There are some things I definitely would do again. I would still take all the twists and turns I have taken along the way. This is part of being me. I love variety and new experiences, so I do not regret at all trying different things within and outside law at different times.
I also would again prioritise my children over my work again. Although this caused me to work now and then when I would rather be sleeping, it has helped to build strong connections with family. I treasure those connections now and the experts tell me they will only become more important as I get older.
So, I probably wouldn’t change much of the “what” I did. But I might change a bit about “how” I did things:
I would try to slow down a bit and lower my heart rate along the way. Having never set a definitive goal for my legal career, I wasn’t in a hurry to get anywhere in particular. But I was probably in a hurry to achieve all I could in the shortest possible time. Now I am not sure why. If I had taken on one less client or had a few less late nights running into early mornings working or attended one (or ten) less networking event(s), I doubt it would have made the slightest difference to the overall outcome.
Life is short and therefore it is to be lived to the full. However, it is also long, so everything doesn’t have to be crammed into the years between late 20s and late 40s, especially not in law. We are lucky to be in an industry where age and experience are valued. Saying I might have slowed down could be optimism speaking. I am much better now but it is easier because I have a lot fewer conflicting demands on my time now my children are young adults. And I am still not great at slowing down, even though I am more conscious of doing so. I know I am not being optimistic when I say that I, and others around me, would have benefitted from me slowing down a bit.
2. I would also try to focus more on the things I can control and to worry less about the things I can’t control. Litigation is a very uncertain process. I can do my best job to influence the outcome but that is all I can do. I have no control over other players in the system or the outcome. Edward Snowden, who is currently in exile in Russia, for leaking classified National Security Agency documents, said: “I no longer have to worry about what happens tomorrow, because I am happy with what I’ve done today.” I’m not sure I would have always thought that if I were Edward Snowden. But I try to remember that when I am beginning to worry about tomorrow.
Another thing I can’t control is what other people think of me. One of the best things about growing older is that you realise most people are, understandably, too busy thinking about themselves to worry about you. I also only really care about what a handful of people think. So, although difficult at a younger age, I would try very hard not to worry about what others might be thinking of me.
3. Finally, I really could have benefitted from making more effort to understand myself better in the earlier stages of my career. As I said in my first blog, I have become a lot more intentional about understanding my values, my strengths and my weaknesses. I was hopeless at taking time to step back and do this type of analysis for many years. It is also possibly more common to spend time reflecting on this now. It has been very useful in helping me understand what lights up my day and what extinguishes my light, which in turn is immensely useful in assessing work and other opportunities.
Amazingly, it has been almost exactly six months since I posted my last blog. Even though last March I said that I would post monthly for a year and then stop, holidays, hearings and preparing for hearings have got in the way since last September. Once upon a time, I would have strived to continue posting in spite of the other things going on but clearly now, not so much. It seems that I am willing to take some pressure off when necessary now, so I am putting some of what I say into practice.
Although I haven’t posted monthly, a year after it began, my blog journey is drawing near the end. I do have one more left in me so look out for my final blog which should be posted around this time next month… unless something comes up to delay it!